In a nutshell...

I walk dogs, for extra money. So I can buy Trucks.

I get Ice Cream when I am good. "which is all the time"

I go on the potty!

What a whirlwind of events that has taken place in our lives lately. We found out today that we are living in an unsafe home. The landlady needs to remove all moldy anything before I will bring Van back into that house. We took a road trip to South Carolina to see my college buddies and get out of town for the weekend. When we returned it was my birthday and I had a nice relaxing one! My mom watched Van and she gave me the best massage while we watched tennis and relaxed. Then she watched Van at night and Conner and I got to go have sushi with the family! I got some awesome gifts including a gift card to nordstrom and my favorite signature perfume Angel. Conner gave me some running shoes so I can run away from here! Run forest run! I have felt pretty defeated lately - just to be honest. I want to write that everything is awesome and we are all smiles, but since we have arrived it has been a rocky road. Everything has been a challenge. Van is sick again I think he got a cold on our trip but this time he can't keep food down and is running fevers. I feel like a hamster running in my ball and I can't get anything accomplished..... This to shall pass - Conner reminded me tonight as he drove away after dinner to the house we are supposed to be living in as a family. Van is needing MOM even more these days as he is not sure where home is and he is feeling ill. We love this boy more than anything in this world and just want a safe place for him to call home. Where he can play with his trucks and doggies...

Here are a few photos of the milestones from the past few weeks. He is about to turn one and a half and I enjoy every second with him, even when I am getting thrown up on four times in a row.
My sister sent me this poem that she found and I love it..

My Baby Boy and Me:

It's three AM, they're all asleep, and no-one's here to see.
As we rock slowly back and forth, My baby boy and me.
His little hand is feather light Tucked up against my chin.
I hold his tiny hand in mine, and stroke his baby skin.
The house about us creaks and groans, The clock hands creep around.
He snuggles closer to me still, And makes his baby sounds. I love these quiet hours so much, And cherish every one.
Store memories up inside my heart For lonely nights to come.
All too soon he'll be grown up, His need for mama gone.
But until then I still have time For kisses and for song.
Time for quiet hours like this With him cuddled in my arms,
Where I wish he'd always stay Protected, safe and warm.
And yet I know the day will come When his tiny little hand, will be bigger than my own. He'll grow to be a man.
But until then he's mine to love With no one here to see. As we rock slowly back and forth,
My baby boy and me.
...Author Unknown

This little house!

It's been almost a week since my last post and I honestly cant remember a time when i have ever been this busy. And I have help! Van's Mimi flew down to be with us for a week while I looked for a place to live... I have found two houses one is amazing and all we could ever want but $200 over what we had budgeted a month. It is on the water, brand new and has 3 bedrooms & 3 bathrooms! It's absurd. Next is a house with a yard that has 2 bedrooms, and 1 bathroom. The kitchen is the size of a tuna can and it doesn't have a dishwasher. They are both a block from the beach! So that part is great.
The little one has a fenced in yard for the dogs, and the big one with the ELEVATOR does not have a fenced in yard. Oh and that price is $200 less than we had budgeted for which means we could start paying some debt down! I have been so stressed about this decision that I have not had any other time to think about anything else. My emotions have taken a break lately and I have gone into robot mode. When your in robot mode you can't really write anything that anyone would want to read either. It's too shallow. It's basic and weird. I will have more soon when I get back to normal. I will have photos too!

Living...

My mom sent me this today I am not sure where it is from but it lightened my load.

Living....
To touch the cup with eager lips and taste, not drain it:
To woo and tempt and court a bliss—and not attain it;
To fondle and caress a joy, yet hold it lightly, Lest it
become a necessity and cling too tightly:
To watch the sunset in the West without regretting:
To smother care in happiness and Grief in laughter,
To hold the present close —not questioning hereafter:
To have enough to share—to know the joy of giving:
To thrill with all the sweets of life --- Is Living.

Trouble in paradise...

This week has been trying, losing my cousin, packing up my house to move, Van getting a new tooth, and since toddlers are such creatures of routine this whole packing the house thing is overwhelming to him. He has been crying a lot this past week. I pick him up and try to console him, when we leave the house is when he returns to normalcy. Thank God that I have had Conner's little sis here Kat to help me pack and play with Van she has been a God send. I did need help, and I am so glad I asked or I would be doing this alone while Conner works. Anyways I gotta keep it short. I have been really sad about the death of my cousin, so I am not so inspired to write much this week. I will get back on the train shortly.


Oh I do want to say one thing,
hey you people who drive SUVs, throw perfectly recyclable bottles and cans in the trash, clean their bathrooms with — gasp — bleach and think nothing of sometimes blasting the air conditioner or taking wickedly wasteful long, hot showers. (okay I do the shower thing every once in a while).

You think you know the type: the ones who think global warming is a hoax and scarf up natural resources like candy.

Start teaching your kids that this planet is not here for us to destroy, it is here to start preserving for them. Not sure if you have noticed or not but the entire US of A is switching over to greener, more sustainable ways of life. You should too, start somewhere, you have no excuse except that your lazy.

Reasons to start reducing, reusing, and recycling:

1. conserves natural resources; consider that if we didn't recycle newspaper we would have to cut more trees to produce new newspapers,
2. conserves landfill space; landfills would fill up proportionately to the amount of materials we don't recycle - if we didn't recycle anything, most landfills would be full 10-30% faster than had we all recycled,
3. saves us money; yes, actually it does - a new landfill costs millions of dollars to develop and build - money that could better be spent on schools, roads, and public safety, and
4. it makes cents - yes - more people are employed with recycling businesses and many people sell recyclable materials.

peace brothers & sisters.

Full Circle

I ran into a man last week who I met 8 years ago when I arrived here from the east coast. He is a salty single, guy and looks as if the beach has lived within him for years. Sandy grey hair, tall and kind of lanky. The type of guy you remember when you see him again 8 years later. He had some great words of advice for me when I had arrived. I was a beach girl at heart, but wanted so badly to work in the surf industry so I traveled across the country alone to find a place to call home. I signed a lease and was out here within a few months with a cast on my foot (I fell off of a curb walking down a hill to the beach, we don't have hills back home, ha) and almost all of my belongings. The only things I had to leave at home were my animals. They arrived a month or so later and I had never been so happy to see them because honestly I was a bit lonely.

I was waiting tables in a bar and applying to work in the surf industry every other free moment I had. The salty guy whose name is Randy told me he knew a few people who worked at quiksilver, and to go for it, that I was the perfect type of person for that company whatever that meant..

I met a woman in the bar as well who took a liking to me for some reason and I to her. She wanted to hear my story and I told her that I had journeyed across the country, to find my dream job and a surfer boy to marry and have a family with. That was it pure and simple. She told me she was praying for me and that "he" (the surfer boy, was looking for me right now as we spoke). I met him a couple weeks later. Funny how life has it's way of speaking to you through other people. People you might never see again, or maybe 8 years later to thank them and show them what you have now, and how they may have helped you a little to arrive there. It was at that moment when I ran into salty Randy that I realized my time was up here. I didn't need to keep wondering if this was the right decision any more. I came here to do two things and I can now cross the country again with my son and my surfer boy and look back on all that I did while I was here and smile.

I traveled to far off distant lands in search of perfect beaches to have photo shoots. I had the chance to work with some of the greatest minds in action sports, I learned from the best art directors in the business, I got to fall in love with my beautiful surfer boy, I got to design books with HarperCollins, and cell phones with Motorola. I got to attend swanky parties with the who's who in surfing and action sports. I have had my fill. I will always have a special place in my heart for Southern Califonia, this is truly where I found myself, I will hold onto that forever.

Where you started!

art courtesy of curly girl designs