Trouble in paradise...

This week has been trying, losing my cousin, packing up my house to move, Van getting a new tooth, and since toddlers are such creatures of routine this whole packing the house thing is overwhelming to him. He has been crying a lot this past week. I pick him up and try to console him, when we leave the house is when he returns to normalcy. Thank God that I have had Conner's little sis here Kat to help me pack and play with Van she has been a God send. I did need help, and I am so glad I asked or I would be doing this alone while Conner works. Anyways I gotta keep it short. I have been really sad about the death of my cousin, so I am not so inspired to write much this week. I will get back on the train shortly.


Oh I do want to say one thing,
hey you people who drive SUVs, throw perfectly recyclable bottles and cans in the trash, clean their bathrooms with — gasp — bleach and think nothing of sometimes blasting the air conditioner or taking wickedly wasteful long, hot showers. (okay I do the shower thing every once in a while).

You think you know the type: the ones who think global warming is a hoax and scarf up natural resources like candy.

Start teaching your kids that this planet is not here for us to destroy, it is here to start preserving for them. Not sure if you have noticed or not but the entire US of A is switching over to greener, more sustainable ways of life. You should too, start somewhere, you have no excuse except that your lazy.

Reasons to start reducing, reusing, and recycling:

1. conserves natural resources; consider that if we didn't recycle newspaper we would have to cut more trees to produce new newspapers,
2. conserves landfill space; landfills would fill up proportionately to the amount of materials we don't recycle - if we didn't recycle anything, most landfills would be full 10-30% faster than had we all recycled,
3. saves us money; yes, actually it does - a new landfill costs millions of dollars to develop and build - money that could better be spent on schools, roads, and public safety, and
4. it makes cents - yes - more people are employed with recycling businesses and many people sell recyclable materials.

peace brothers & sisters.

God Speed Uncle Jeff

Today I received a phone call from my sister, any time someone starts out a conversation with are you driving. You kind of brace yourself for the worst. She said,

"It's Jeff....

he's gone..."

A neighbor found him. I am his only related family member in the area, it was comforting to know he was close. He does have a family who has been so amazing to him and they have taken him in as their own over the years, and he was like a grandpa/dad to them they will miss him so much as well. I just found out last week he had to have a surgery to remove his gall bladder and to clear a passage to his liver. But I guess after that he had reached his limit and decided this was the best way to go. I am hit so hard by this, as I am ready to depart from here. I went through my emails and realized I did try to get him closer to his family... I knew things weren't easy for him financially. and his health was deteriorating due to a loss of hope and stress.

Here is an email I sent him a few months ago trying to get him to make a change. I did try...

Hi Jeffrey!

How are you doing?
we are back from our travels and wanted to see how things are with you.
Before we left you didn't seem that great, are things moving in a better direction with business?

We looked at some rentals while we were home. It is so much cheaper to live there it is crazy.

If you want to move with us, just say the word. We are trying to move by April. I think we are actually going to do it.
Lets meet at the dog park this weekend, maybe on Saturday morning?

If that doesn't work out maybe we can do an early dinner at our house one night next week...

Here is a pic of my mom when we surprised her for Xmas.

talk soon,

Love. D

I will miss him, I met him often at the dog park to talk and walk with our dogs. He was always interested in hearing about our life and Van. Here are a couple photos of Jeff and Van that I took recently. I will miss you Jeff. I wish you decided to move with us. I hope you are in a better place where there is no more pain in your heart.

Life is a funny thing, it is what you make of it, isn't it?

Love and Marriage.....

Conner and I celebrated four years of marriage yesterday, we had a mellow night at home, with some of our favorite foods. It's amazing that four years seems so long, but in the grand scheme of things it is really so short. We have gone through so much already in these four years of marriage. I do know that when we were hugging each other yesterday and looking at Van I felt so much energy and happiness for the moments we share and what we have built together. I have some beautiful flowers from my mom and sister, and lilly's from Conner. I got a gift certificate for a massage too! Good luck this weekend in your surf contest, Dad! We love you.

A Warm Heart

Van's Grandmom Mimi left today after a wonderful week. This past week was eventful and Van grew to love her so much. Every time she walked in the room, he would get a big smile on his face and lift his arms out for her to pick him up. She was a teacher for several years and being a grandmother is just second nature for her. Van keeps crawling into her room and looking for her, and my heart sinks. Mimi is a warm spirit, she wakes up happy and singing, a rare trait to find. She spent so much time just being with Van. Taking him on walks, letting him explore the outdoors, reading to him, playing in water, singing to him, and just kissing him. I love to see him developing relationships with the people who love him, creating bonds that will last a lifetime. She got to see him take his first steps last week.

Mimi took took us out to dinners, brought us books and music, new shoes and a pedicure to match, clothes for Van, toys, gas for the car, groceries in our fridge, a babysitter, and a warm loving heart. Thank you for all you do you are so cherished by us.

Images from a week

Conner in his contest last weekend in oceanside.


Van's first trip to the Zoo with Mimi & Poppa Mike.
Peek.....
a boo!

Captured moments

I made Conner & his mom a book in iphoto for Valentines day and they turned out so great. It really is a great gift to give someone. I have documented Van's life with a photo a day pretty much since he was born, I went through them and pulled the best shots. This book is 40 pages full color and some black and whites. It has little comments about all of his firsts and so many shots of Van and Conner having fun and loving each other....

Paris, je t'aime

I found this photo of Van and my mom today as I was going through my Christmas photos, I had never seen it and I just love it. I just love hugs don't you? We should give at least 10 a day. Van loves to hug me all day long, it is the best thing ever. He also likes to pat me a lot too. I notice when he is around other kids he goes up to them and puts his head on theres even if he has never met them before. He is a warm soul, and he has a gentle heart.



I am really into Yael Naim's tunes these days. She is from Paris, and lately I have been dreaming about visiting. YAEL NAIM & David Donatien work so well together in this album vocals and music are so harmonious. Check out some of their other songs!


Paris is calling me, ever since I watched Paris, je t'aime.
It is my kind of movie for sure through the neighborhoods of Paris, love is veiled, revealed, imitated, sucked dry, reinvented and awakened. Rent it if you haven't already seen it and curl up with your valentine, some wine, cheese & some good bread!

Conner is coming home tonight from his trip to florida, I missed him and his warm smile he brings me everyday. Van has said dad about 1 million times these past few days. He will be so happy to see him when he wakes up tomorrow (super bowl sunday) Have a good one!

mi familia

My family is so amazing! Conner and I had a whole week in Puerto Rico together while my sister & my nephews took care of Van!
My mom and my other sister took care of him too! I loved having help with him, it makes life so much more relaxing.
I was really missing him on the last day of our vacation. We snuck in while he was sleeping and when he woke up in the morning, he could not stop smiling and laying his head on Conner's chest. It was so sweet.
I am putting together a little slide show of our two weeks away! Come back soon to see pics from Christmas and Puerto Rico!

Home Is Where the Heart Is

Wow. It was a long week without the Internet, but I have to say it was kind of nice to be without it.
It was a little break away from the computer, and a time to think and ponder about all of the things I have to say to anyone who reads my thoughts.
At first it may seem that by taking a break we may not be as productive as we would initially like. In reality, a healthy period of rest is something that gives us a real sense of the unlimited nature of our true potential.

We had the best time in Virginia Beach. It's funny we have so many places that we call home. It's kind of nice to know we have more than one home. I am so thankful this Thanksgiving for all that I have. The thing to remember about the world, though, is that it ebbs and flows, expands and contracts, gives and takes, and is by its very nature somewhat unreliable. If we only feel gratitude when it serves our desires, this is not true thankfulness. No one is exempt from the twists and turns of fate, which may, at any time, take the possessions, situations, and people we love away from us. Ironically, it is sometimes this kind of loss that awakens us to a thankfulness that goes deeper than just being grateful when things go our way. I read that somewhere and I thought it was very profound. Conner's parents are such an amazing support to us and we are truly so thankful for their love and support. When we got home last night I was rocking Van in his room holding him so close to my heart and thinking that this place is what he calls home right now. I feel so happy when he is right next to my heart.

This year has not been the easiest on us, but I can say that it has been the most life changing, and moving year of my life. I have grown in ways I never knew I could grow and I have let other selfish ways go. Today is about giving, and about raising a son, loving my husband and making sure their needs are met. I do need to have some fun too and I do that. But my heart is truly filled when I am doing things for others. It's weird how that works isn't it?

So Much To Be Thankful For....

My beach birthday party, was so much fun, thanks to everyone who made it down to be with us!
Van loves watching the waves come in.
My beautiful boys!

Our friends are our family out here, it was so nice to be with you all this past weekend. I appreciate all you do for me! xoxoo
My yummy Sprinkles cupcakes that Kristen brought me, these made me feel so happy!!!
Van in his tent that he is about to outgrow.

This weekend was so hot out here, the water felt so nice to dive into and refresh your soul. The surf was good, we had a fun dinner on my bday and the beach party was such a good time.
Thanks everyone for making my bday so special! D