Nostalgic already

Today I got a little emotional when Van and I were playing in his room, we made a fort out of sheets and played with his toys in there. I tried to take the moments and capture them in my memory. His room, the breeze blowing in the window, the curtains billowing. The music floating through the air. I started thinking about all of the hard work and energy we put into designing his room. Conner worked so hard on it. The thought of leaving the first home we owned and the place we brought our son home scares me a lot. There has been something really nice about being in our own little bubble out here. Change is hard on me, I start missing a place before I am even gone. I know it will all be fine but the waiting is harder than the arriving. I look around at this beautiful place and know it will live on in my hear and mind forever.

I just read this article and I am getting nervous about flying my dogs across the country in the middle of summer.... What should we do?
Our only other option would be to have Conner drive cross country with them when he comes in August. He will be out of the country for about two weeks in July so we would need to board them in a kennel and I think that would cause more stress on them than the scary six or seven hour flight across the hot country....

Transformation

I get these daily Om emails everyday and most of the time I skip over them and don't read them but today I felt compelled by the title - Useful Transformation.

It seemed to call to me. I have heard this same message in many different shapes and sizes this past week, and it seems I am now listening. I am letting go of any resistance to change and accepting that with transformation & growth comes discomfort.

As I watch Van go through change and growth I watch him struggle too, the natural human way to deal with growth is to fight it until we realize it is a natural state of life and it is when we truly let go and go with the flow we are so much more able to cope with it.

Transformation is a universal constant that affects our lives from the moment we are born until we leave earthly existence behind. At the root of all growth, we find change. Occasionally, change and the circumstances leading up to it are a source of extraordinary joy, but more often than not they provoke feelings of discomfort, fear, or pain. Though many changes are unavoidable, we should not believe that we are subject to the whims of an unpredictable universe. It is our response to those circumstances that will dictate the nature of our experiences. At the heart of every transformation, no matter how chaotic, there is substance. When we no longer resist change and instead regard it as an opportunity to grow, we find that we are far from helpless in the face of it.

These past 6 months have been filled with change and adapting to a new way of life, Conner started a new job, I left mine, we have a baby, and on and on. So this message was a nice one for me to absorb.















us last weekend at the beach!














A moment.